withoutborders

Today is an important day, today, I am celebrating my third month in Sierra Leone!!

It's Friday afternoon, I am standing on the chair in the office shouting to Sharif;

"Sharif, I am happy, I am happy today.."

Sharif stares at me, smiles carefully, it takes him a few seconds to realize that I am serious. He takes my hand, pulls me down from the chair and starts to dance:

"Njaje (my Mende name) happy...we dance!! Njaje, why you happy? You find a man, Njaje getting husband??"

I let go of Sharif's hand:

"NO Sharif, I..ME..Setareh ,Njaje, is happy! I feel very happy today, I am happy in Bo!!"

Sherif looks confused. We dance for short while before he leaves my room.

I have lived the mission life for THREE MONTHS. I am FINALLY half-way...FINALLY "half"-way and half-finished... I stare out of the window and get quiet...half-way means half done...it means three more months..only...

Three months ago, I used to look up to my "experienced" colleagues. Each goodbye dinner was painful on it's own. The questions would never end, the panic would be a constant reminder. Will I EVER reach this day myself? When will "I" buy the goodbye-biscuits, soft-drinks and crisps for the national staff, spreading thank you speeches around me? When will I leave my email address on the board for my successor?

Suddenly, I am half-way there!! I am HALF-WAY through?? Does this mean that I should be half-done? Or half- satisfied, cause I don't think I am!

I have been here for 93 days. Most days have felt like an "eternal-eternity". My days used to start with count-downs; how many days I have been here, how many days left till my vacation, till my birthday, my end of mission...but once all these eternal days were added together into complete weeks, they passed on a fast forward mode.

When did this happen, when did I move away from the surviving mode to the fighter mode?

I don't know, I only know that time has passed and I have grown.

Yesterday I had a strange feeling, quite surreal to be honest. I was standing on the balcony, overlooking the compound. The white "peace-promoting" Toyota Landcruisers, the half-asleep guards by the gate, the children outside of the compound shouting "Poomoy, Poomoy (white man, white man), what is your name.."

My Italian manager steps in to the office and shouts the Italian-English phrases I hear about fifty times on a regular working day:

"I'm sorry but...why your men never do job in right time...I not understand...in Congo, and yes, I live in Congo 15 years, in Congo we never...!"

I see his motions but I can only hear him vaguely in the background..in fact, I don't want to hear him, I don't want to be thrown out of this moment. This is the first time in three months that I feel a touch of satisfaction. For a very short moment, I even feel proud!!

The annoying daily problems and obstacles have become my security, the answer to the big mystery: WHY I AM HERE. They are holy ceremonies making life worth while.

I work as supply manager today. Far away from the hungry children. The office is hot and humid, my staff highly educated and inflexible. In the hospital, I used to be appreciated, my staff listened to me, they taught me Mende and gave me ground nuts and pineapples as gifts and appreciation. I was presented to their mothers, the holiest family member...In the office, the tensions have been high, I wasn't supposed to be here, I am one expatriate too much.

It's called FLEXIBILITY, the slogan of MSF!! I changed my position over a day, from being a logistician of a proud and motivated team, to supply manager for a half-destroyed team.

But I did it, I survived, and one day, I woke up and started to enjoy.

Now we talk about their families, we go to the saloon together, I give the guys advice in love and relationships..they laugh and think I am a crazy poomoy, but it's ok. This is the distance we need in order to learn from each other.

Thank you all for your emails and supportive messages. I know that you want me to write more about life in Bo, you want to know how I am living, feeling and growing.

But this is the best I can do. A few lines, a few pictures...a half finished blogg.

It is a big mess in my own head, and sometimes, I manage to put it down into words.

Hope you vacation was good!

Love

Njaje from the field

PS. Keep sending your comments on my blogg, it's highly appreciated J

http://withoutborders.blogg.se/

Berattelser ur "Jordemoder"

Sierra Leone juli 2008

Jag heter Lisen, ar barnmorska och arbetar vanligtvis pa sodra BB, sodersjukhuset i stockholm men sedan ett par manader finns jag nu utsand av Lakare utan Granser i Sierra Leone, Lejon bergen! Ett land med en av varldens hogsta frekvens av barn och modra dodlighet. Medellivslangden ar ca 40 ar, nara 25% av barnen dor innan fem ars alder. Malaria ar den framsta orsaken och drabbar hardast barn och gravida. Levnadsforhallandena ar svara, las och skrivkunnigheten lag (15-20%), rent vatten och mat ar ingen sjalvklarhet... speciellt inte nu innan regnperioden.

Kriget ar slut sedan snart 6 ar, men lakare utan granser finns kvar i landet pga de hoga siffrorna av malaria och modradodliget... siffrorna visar pa katastrof. I kriget forlorades inte bara en stor del av befolkningen utan ocksa bade kunskaper och resurser.

Jag finns pa ett litet sjukhus utanfor den nast storsta staden i landet.Vi tar emot kvinnor fran en stor del av regionen och hjalper till vid alla former av komplikationer kring forlossning och sedan nov 2007 ocksa med akuta kejsarsnitt.

De flesta kvinnor foder hemma i sin by med hjalp av TBA (trad. birth attendans), och kommer till sjukhuset forst efter dagar av forlossnings arbete och dagar av resa, manga ganger for sent. Att vara kvinna har ar farligt -sorgen av forlorade barn, systrar och modrar forlorade under forlossning, ar standigt narvarande, men livsgladje och kraften att ga vidare finns ocksa. I sangarna pa sjukhuset ligger sida vid sida, de som just forlorat sina barn och de som just ar nyblivna mammor...

Jag ser fram emot att fa skriva i jordemodern de narmaste manaderna och hoppas kunna lata er fa mota nagra av kvinnorna jag moter har, kunna fa sprida lite av de Sierra leonska kvinnornas Liv och Kraft, Sorg och Gladje!

Mary ar en av dem, hon kom, till oss en eftermiddag, tvilling ett hade fotts hemma for tva dagar sedan och tvilling tva var fortfarande inte fodd!Vi lyssnade men kunde inte hora nagra fosterljud. Vi gjorde amniotomi och startade syntocinon inf och tro det eller ej 20 min senare stod vi med en skrikande flicka i famnen, apgar 9,10,10!

Maternity mortality rate 1800 per 100 000 live births

Infant mortality rate 170 per 1000

Under five mortality rate 286 per 1000

Augusti 2008-08-08

Sa har regnperioden borjat, vagarna blir samre och avstanden langre, farre kommer till sjukhus och kliniker i tid for hjalp... Tiden ar en standigt narvarande faktor, sa manga barn vi skulle kunna ha hjalpt bara familjen kommit till oss lite tidigare!

Det sags att det fods manga tvillingar har i Sierra Leone, mer an nagon annan stans i varlden. Jag vet inte om det ar sant men jag har aldrig sett sa manga tvilling par fodas som har! Tvillingar anses fodas med speciell styrka, de har kraften att se haxor, och ocksa kraft att beskydda familj och gardar. Sa tvillingar ar bade respekterade och fruktade...

Nar tvillingar fods haller foraldrarna en speciell cermoni, det forsta barnet far heta Sao och tvilling nummer tva far heta Jina, flicka eller pojke spelar ingen roll, det ar statusen som tvilling som visas i namnet!

Tvillingar anses kunna vara fodda i samforstand eller i konflikt, fods de i samforstand kommer de att arbeta bra tillsammans, fods de i konflikt kommer de att slass for att driva ivag den andre- den starkare kommer att overleva och den svagare far ge upp... -Overlever de bada har de accepterat varandra och kommer senare att arbeta bra tillsammans. Sa snart ett tvillingpar ar fott kommer kvinnan forsoka bli gravid igen Det ar forst genom det tredje barnet som kraften av tvillingarna blir fullkomnad!

Tron och forestallningarna kring tvilingarnas kraft ar manga!

Pa sjukhuset skrattar kvinnorna nar jag visar tvilling amning -Men det fungerar! Att kunna amma bada barnen samtidigt spar inte bara tid och kraft for kvinnorna det okar chanserna att bada barnen ska overleva! I ett land med en av varldens hogsta siffror av barnadodlighet ar det latt att acceptera att de svagare inte overlever, men vi finns har for att visa att varje barn ar viktigt! Varje barn som fotts till jorden oavsett land, har ratt att leva!